The End of the World is coming!

Signs
1. A series of powerful earthquakes kills hundreds of thousands across Asia. Recent activation of scores of volcanoes threatens continued extermination of the people of Indonesia
2. Woman in Las Vegas finds chopped finger in chilli
3. Joseph Ratzinger elected new Pope
4. Motorist driving in London hit by frozen sausage, sustains nasal bone fracture
5. Backstreet Boys release new single

Let us ask the blessing of the Great Maggot God, and his best friend's auntie, the Muted Goddess of Strawberry, to protect us in the awful times to come.

Offer them a rice cake today.